You can have love, safety, and connection in your relationship ALL the time by using three simple words. Does it sound too good to be true? It’s not. Many of us notice these feelings at various times in our relationship, but few of us feel them all the time. So, what are these three magic words? Well, there are actually a few of them you can use depending on the situation.
I love you. These three magic words will help you and your partner feel more connected in any situation and should be used liberally. Use them at a random time during the day, maybe as a stand alone text when you are away, and see what happens to the energy of your relationship. And, don’t leave yourself out! Say them to yourself as much as possible. There is so much magic in these three little words.
Help me understand. Use these words when your partner has an issue. When your loved one has a problem, whether it is with you or someone else, saying these three magic words will save you from unnecessary conflict. With many of us, our first inclination is to try and solve our partner’s issue or take it personally and get defensive. Neither of these reactions does you, or your partner, any good. Using “help me understand” let’s your partner know you are interested in their experience and want to know more. If they want your help in solving the problem, they’ll ask for it. If it’s an issue about you, it gives you the ability to fully understand where they’re coming from before you respond. Being able to respond, instead of react, is vitally important.
Tell me more. Again, these three words are to be used when your partner is telling you about an issue, and you still don’t know the whole story. If you are making ANY assumptions, you don’t know the whole story. These words convey you are interested and want to know more.
Can I help? See how simple these three magic words are? Do NOT begin telling your partner how to solve the problem. Let your partner tell you if assistance is desired. Using these three magic words conveys you are interested in helping while still expressing trust that your partner can solve it on his or her own.
If you use these magic words, your relationship is going to achieve a whole new level of love, safety, and connection. Your partner is going to feel more loved, respected, and confident in expressing themselves. Want more ideas for making your relationship the one of your dreams? Contact me for more simple strategies and easy to use tools.